Also, talking about aftercare before beginning a scene helps too. It’s your job as the dominant partner to ensure your submissive feels safe and secure during a scene and discussing things ahead of time ensures that. The responsibilities of the dominant partner You can also use a squeaky toy that they can squeeze-once for slow down, twice for a break, three times for full stop. This can literally be a tapping motion of some sort or something in their hand that they’re capable of raising during the session that lets you know they’re finished. That means you need to make sure they can give you a sign when they’re tapped out. Why a gesture? Well, we’re talking about gagging your partner to the point of inhibiting their ability to speak, so it will be impossible for them to say a safe word. You and your partner should sit down and discuss all aspects of a scene ahead of time, including coming up with a safe word or gesture. But especially when you’re contracting for any type of BDSM scene, you’re going to need to get enthusiastic consent. Ball gag safetyĪnytime you’re engaging in sex, consent is absolutely required. They can even have blindfolds attached and nipple clamps. The straps can differ as well, fashioned from silicone, fabric, and even leather. There are ball-shaped gags, bit gags (yes, just like a horse bit), open-mouth gags, harness gags, and dildo gags, to name a few. You don’t want the gag to be so uncomfortable your partner won’t be able to wear it as long as your scene will last. A good rule of thumb is you want the gag to be large enough to keep them from talking, but not so large as to strain their jaw. Gags also come in different sizes to accommodate the varying shapes and sizes of mouths. Even within ball-shaped gags, there are solid ones and ones with holes in them to help the wearer breathe a bit better, which is optimal for those who are just starting out using gags for the first time. There are as many types of gags as there are people who use them. While we call them ball gags, don’t get it twisted and think that’s all there is to choose from. They’re unable to talk, use their mouth in any way that isn’t at your discretion, and depending on the type of gag you’re employing, they may even be consensually required to use their mouth for specific purposes. Yes, it hinders their ability to speak, but it also reminds them of their place within your relationship. In a BDSM relationship or scene, they’re used to place your partner in a more submissive position. What’s a ball gag for?īall gags are used for a number of reasons beyond just quieting your partner. However, not all ball gags are actually balls, and some are quite creative and shaped like a penis or other designs and can even feature a hole in the middle so things can be inserted into your partner’s mouth, while still keeping them from talking or otherwise using their mouth in a normal fashion. It’s secured to your partner’s head by a strap, which is either adjustable (optimal) or stretchy. While most anything can be used to gag your partner, a ball gag in particular is typically a round, ball-shaped object made of rubber, silicone, or plastic. Also known as a mouth gag or simply just a gag, these sexy little items are made for just that purpose-stopping your partner from using their mouth-for talking anyway. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to consensually place something in their mouth and just cease all sound? Well, if you engage in a little BDSM, you just might be able to contract for that and use a ball gag. Where you desired nothing more than peace and quiet. There has been at least one time in your relationship where you wished you could stop your partner from speaking.
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